Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
More tranny stories later!
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
