i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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