Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Sext me about skeletons
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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