Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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