Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Don't make out with my wife yet
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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