hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Holy shit dude........stairs
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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