A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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