i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
