It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
After tacos, we're chasing women.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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