I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
