You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
