There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
