Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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