Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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