wakey wakey hands off snakey
do herpes really smell.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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