So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize