i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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