sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
