I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
