Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
