Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
