And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
