how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
