did you get engaged???
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Randomize
