I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
