Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
