Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
