butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
