my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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