I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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