Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
