You can't motorboat a personality
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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