Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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