How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize