But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
