Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
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