All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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