I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
