I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
