would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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