And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
