Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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