good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
