I must be too annoying 4 u.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
