We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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