Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
