It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize