This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
