so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
