Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
