i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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