I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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