In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I look better un-naked...
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
