the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
