wanna go halves on a baby?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just google imaged poop.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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