just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
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