It's like God shit irony all over that family
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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