i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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