so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize