Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
he had hair everywhere except his balls
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
