with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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