I can feel you judging me through the phone.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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