There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
