some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize