Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
