A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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