is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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