Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
