All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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